I have inferred one thing about myself. I am a societal chameleon.

I am good at convincing people that I am as messed up or as sorted in life as they are. I could be a devout daughter-in-law one day, a feminist the other. I could fit well amongst teenagers and also comfortably strike a conversation with their professors.

Not everyone can get along with different kinds of people. Those who can, are ones who give others a chance to be themselves without jumping to conclusions about their personality. I have found that unlike some, i first like to meet people where they are. I realise that each person’s life and reality is different than mine. I have understood the years it takes to shape a person’s personality, belief and principles. I have learnt to be patient with people and realise that the layers of personality unravel only when someone is comfortable and assured in your presence. I like to create a safe space for them, even if we have just met.

Maybe it begins with just being comfortable with yourself. Not attaching your identity with the way you appear to people. Maybe we should remind ourself that there isn’t a point to prove always.

The key to influencing someone begins with making them comfortable in their own shoes. No, it doesn’t have anything to do with an electric personality or a glamorous appearance. It simply needs a warm smile and a listening ear.

Does this mask my real self? My ability to influence people has also taught me to not hide my own messed-up, ever-evolving and layered reality . It has taught me to be fair under the most pressing circumstances.

Along the way, I have scrupulously separated rationality from emotion and used both to nurture my relationships. I have made decisions based on the virtue of promises rather than plausibility. I have learnt other people’s lessons, felt someone else’s grief, i have listened whole-heartedly and responded genuinely. For all this, I have taken the effort of giving people, no matter how different, the space to be themselves.

You have to be authentic to be considered genuine. You have to place your feet in many shoes yet you can’t expect to fit in each. I think it is important to be vulnerable to be relatable. And vulnerability begins with confidence and resilience.  

Real character is not the one you show off. And it’s not the one that you keep hidden. It’s a unique flavor that comes out in every role that you play. 

A convincing actor draws inspiration from her own reality. It’s her real character that is her unique signature.